Hospital Vacation (Hospication)

So, last night I spent the evening with the Cejkas at Clear Lake Medical Center. Jessica was having contractions, so her doctor told her to check in to the penthouse suite on the 4th floor of the hospital. She had her own room, two beds that adjust to any angle imaginable, a flat screen TV, a phone number to order food, and her own set of nurses to bring her ice water. Penthouse indeed. Dusty was pretty much on vacation (his admission, not mine), and was wondering what it might cost to rent the room on a more permanent basis. Free coffee around the corner, wireless internet, and someone else to clean the bathroom? I can sort of see his point. I wonder if there is a pool...

So, Jessica is having twins, for those of you who live under a rock. Twin girls to be exact. And she is waiting for a sign from God to name them, apparently. Her favorite phrase is “well, I am not ready to commit to name tonight, obviously.” Obviously, Jessica. Obviously. I imagine two four year old blonde girls, going by A and B. And mom and dad still trying to decide. By then, at least the names on the top 100 baby names list will have changed. Maybe then they can just go with Madison. Anyway, so Dusty thought it would be interesting to put all the names into a hat (or cup) and draw two out, just to see the gut reaction. Apparently, whatever names were picked would be a sign from the universe. So, he takes of writing down all the name choices on the. smallest. scraps. of. paper. ever. Like, half an inch. And really, I say paper, but I actually mean brown napkin. And in these little pieces go, to the cup that was sort of dry. So, now these scraps are stuck to the side of the inside of this cup (that right there should have been the universe sending you a message). Jessica’s mom and I each pick out a name from the cup. Dusty doesnt like the one I pick out, so I pick out another name from the cup. Jessica doesnt like the name her mom picked out, so Yvonne picks out a second name. Somehow, the point of this exercise has disappeared and now we are just reaching into the inside of an old drink cup to fish out stuck together pieces of napkin. Anyway, what it comes down to is that the babies’ names with either both start with “B” or “K” (or every once in a while “M”). And that there is no real need to pick these names out anytime in the next six months. A and B it is.

So moving on, Jessica is having her contractions measured, and is on magnesium to stop them. This means Jessica is very hot (temperature wise...her day old hair and crooked belly line are also hot, but we are talking degrees here people). And of course, this is abnormal, so the thermostat is being turned up and down on a regular basis. She also have some fancy stuff going on on the belly, to measure the babies heartbeats. Apparently Baby A will be the one spending time at Saturday school, and Baby B will be the one volunteering to do beach clean up. At least we are excited (or, well, I am excited, mom and dad not so much) that these twin girls will be 18 by the time their senior year spring break comes around...Miami Beach, here they come! And they will be able to drive for spring break their sophomore year...man, it just gets better and better. I am sure though, they will take after their mom and be well behaved and never do anything stupid like running away from home with a college boy. Oh. Wait. Crap.

What I didn’t realize was that at some point in the last two weeks, Dusty has gotten his MD. Very exciting, I must say. And he seems to know what he is doing. He is pushing buttons and working out kinks in the IV, and ready contraction printouts. I wonder if he is on the hospital pay roll yet. He should at least get a white doctor’s coat out of this. And he is up and down with Jessica, since she has to pee every ten minutes, and is basically a bowling ball with arms and legs. She does pretty well though, and has learned to measure her intake of fluids, so she knows exactly when she should start moving toward the bathroom (somewhere just below 400 units, although Dusty and I think she can make it to 475, since apparently 500 might be the real limit) We feel she should really try to go as long as possible. it is sort of like a contest with your bladder. I guess it sucks if you lose that race.

So, the real update is that Jessica is doing better, the contractions have slowed from the medicine, and the girls were given some steroids to speed up their growth. Today she will have some fluid removed from her belly to hopefully take some of the pressure off of the babies. And her OB tells her she is in the penthouse for the long haul, hopefully to 34 weeks (another 3.5 weeks). We have already planned a slumber party and I am pretty sure I am about to meet my future husband at this hospital. One of the nurses is going to look into where the rich ones work, and has already told me there are no med students (good news, since those guys have a bunch of student loans and haven’t become brain surgeons yet). It’s gonna be an interesting March!