You can't make this stuff up

Yup, I am friends with all of these people:

Female friend: "Deb, don't get married, it just comes with a whole bunch of frustration."
Female friend's husband: "Yea, no kidding. A WHOLE BUNCH."

Pregnant friend: "Oh, I am so not doing the dishes. See this? (points to stomach). This is an additional human being I am carrying around."
Pregnant friend's husband: "Yea. I know. I put it there."

Male friend of mine when talking about one of my crazy female friends: "You know Deb, she might be crazy, but maybe she is right. Even a broken watch is right twice a day."

Male friend: "So i'm single now..."
Me: "Yea, I noticed. You are about to break a lot of hearts, i can just see it coming."
Male friend: "Yea, it will be like a bull in a china shop."
(Really?!?)

L (referring to taking a shot at the bar): "Did you do that all in one swallow?
S; I did. Weird that I'm single, right?"
L: "Yea. You are clearly not advertising the correct way"

J:"Deb, you clearly get no benefit from me being your friend..."
Me: "Yea, no kidding"
J:"Hey, wait a minute..."

"So I was playing this drinking game with these people. Well, actually, these people were playing this game, and I was drinking and listening to their game and playing in my head, since they didn't actually ask me to play with them."

"Well, I mean, I liked the ring, but I didn't actually think we would be married this long..."

"I have a spreadsheet of price per ounce of formula and price per unit for diapers."
"Yea, I have the same thing, for beer."


I am also working on a blog dedicated to stupid questions I get via email. Trust me, there is quite the collection.