The Perfect Day

I think I had the perfect day yesterday. And I had no idea it was coming, so there were no expectations. See, it's been a while since I have gone on a trip by myself that didn't include a ton of work. And this trip, while work related, had some down time yesterday (being that is was Sunday). I arrived in Vancouver at around 11pm, and made it to the hotel after almost dying on the streets of downtown a number of times. These people drive FAST (and you know I mean FAST since I am clearly a lead foot driver most of the time). I got into my hotel room by about 12:30, showered, and crashed. Now, let me just say, I am staying in the fanciest hotel I have ever stayed at. Ever. The Fairmont Vacnouver (on the government rate, thanks USA!) is spectacular. The room I am in is super fancy, the bed is amazing, and the shower. Well, the shower is out of this world. I know, random, but I am telling you people, best shower ever. I take half hour showers twice a day now. Also, the hotel restaurant has a dessert buffet. I mean really?

Anyway, so I slept like a rock until about 6am, and then tossed and turned until 8 or so, knowing full well I was going to be tired if I didn't sleep a little more. I finally gave up, got up, showered (half hour, OBV), threw on jeans and flip flops, and headed out to find some breakfast. A cup of coffee and an apple muffin later, I was headed towards the convention center, which is about 3/4 of a mile from the hotel, and right on the water. Now, those of you who know me know how much I love to enjoy life while drinking coffee. I love to people watch, or sit at a cafe, or in this case, wander the streets of a new city. And so I did. There are some great streets here, and some super fun stores, which just means the exploring it that much more enjoyable. I made it to the convention center and found the other NASA people who I was meeting to set up out booth (I'm gonna throw it out there that this day was perfect despite the fact that I did have to work). I had to don a bright orange contruction vest (you know that color is awesome on me), since these Canadians take their safety very seriously (uh, as does NASA, but yet, I have never worn a vest there), and they were unloading things on fork lifts. We set up the booth quickly, and while there might have been some slight OCD when it came to how things were on the table, it went smoothly, and I was soon back out on the streets of Vancouver.

I sat on a wall for a little while, enjoying the sun and watching the boats. Then I started walking. I walked up Granville Street, which was partially now a pedestrian mall, and there were a bunch of booths set up. Apparently I picked a good week, since it is Pride here in Vancouver, as well as the Latin Festival week and International Music Festival week. Yea, try that combo on for a little while. Anyway, so there was Latin food everywhere, but after my previous experience with Mexican food last week, I am still not really eating anything with a spanish name. Plus, I am a loser and didnt have any Canadian money. I finally found an ATM after like 10 blocks and solved this problem. It was weird that it took that long to find the ATM, Canada really likes to hide em' (or they just dont have a lot of them apparently). Anyway, so I continued on my adventure up Granville Street until I got to Granville Bridge. Now, the plan was to to the Granville Island, where there is a cool market and such to walk around. So, up the bridge I went. And I could see the market. So, I kept walking. All the way across the bridge. And when I got to the other end, I had now passed the market. But, I was still on the bridge, and the bridge wasn't ending anytime soon. So I just kept walking. And walking. And walking. And eventually I got down off the bridge, and then backtracked like 8 blocks to the market. By this point, I was slightly sunburned, and getting hungry. I wandered for a while just enjoying the people watching (I am the world's best people watcher, and love to make up stories about people). And then I went into the open market, which was super fun. There were vendors everywhere, selling fresh fruits, veggies, meats, cheeses, flowers, etc. And also some crafty people selling jewelry, hammocks, scarves, and other random stuff. I checked it out and enjoyed some home cooked food from one of the carts. People were everywhere. There was a great band playing on a stage and people were just sitting, eating, and watching. I hung out for a long time and just enjoyed being. And of course, on par for a perfect day, I had some gelato. Hazelnut Chocolate to be exact. About two hours into the market I realized I had to figure out how to get back. I was pretty sure that crossing the bridge back was really not the option I wanted to choose, so I checked out other possibilities. The best one was a very short ferry ride across the creek to the other side, effectively cutting my walk in half. $3 later, I was in a little boat with a rainbow sign for a four minute journey across the water. Best. Choice. Ever. By this point, the bag on my shoulder was getting a little heavy, and I was a little done with jeans I was wearing. So, I hiked it back to the hotel for a little break.

I spent the next hour and a half rinsing my feet from the flip flop funk that I had accumulated, and then half napping on the bed while doing some texting to stay in touch with those of you at home (since texting is still free and phone calls are not, texting has been my only form of communication since I arrived). I then headed out for some dinner. I ended up about a half block from the hotel, since I knew where I wanted to go. I found this great Brewery, and got a seat on the street on their little patio. I ordered a local pale ale, and a brie and chicken sandwich (my favorite combo ever), and just watched people wander past me. I probably sat there for an hour and a half, and just watched. And thought. And watched and thought some more. Yea, I guess I have a lot on my mind. But what better to place to think than from a patio chair with a beer in a great town? Yea, I was content. After dinner I walked around a bit more and then decided to grab the car and go for a drive.

I drove through Stanley Park in Vancouver and then went North to the "Sea to Sky Highway." Or well, I tried. I ended up missing a turn and taking a local road that sort of paralleled the highway for a while before finally meeting up with it (and yes, I thought I was on it all along, and was very confused that is went though a neighborhood). I drove for a while just enjoying the views, and eventually had to turn around, knowing it was late despite the sun not setting. I made it back to the hotel as the sun went down, and was in my room eating cookies and drinking tea by 10pm.

I just can't get over how great my day was. And what is interesting, after writing it all out, is how simple it was. I didn't do anything earth shattering or groundbreaking, I didn't see some amazing historical marker, or experience a once in a lifetime thing. I just enjoyed being in a new place. I enjoyed the beautiful weather, the freedom to be alone and do what I wanted to do, and my ability to be outdoors and on foot. I found myself appreciating the day as I went along. And I was just really happy.

I read something today that hit me. It was in a book written in first person, and at the end of one of paragraphs, the author wrote "Long ago, I had become my own confidante." I think this is so me. I love having people around, I love leaning on my friends, I love having special people in my life. But at the end of the day, somewhere along the line, I am completely satisfied and happy just being alone. Sometimes I even prefer it. And while I wouldn't want to live life alone, I enjoy the times I can just exist, and be with my thoughts without someone else talking to me about them (and yes, those of you who get nightly calls from me know how important those talks are too). I am glad I am comfortable with this, it makes me feel stronger, and makes me feel like I know myself and my life. And that makes me smile.

I am random

So, I think it might be time for a more upbeat blog post. I know, I know, I have been somewhat depressing (although still funny people tell me) in the last few. I guess that's life right now, but its funny, because life itself is not depressing, it just sounds that way when I describe it. Maybe I need to be blogging about more random things, those are always more fun and usually more funny as well. For instance, let's talk about Tony. Tony has recently been displaced from his home. You see, this little furrball too up residence in my back bedroom, usually napping on the bed or in the small space between the dresser and the wall. He would eat his breakfast and then slink back there, not to be seen again until dinner time. I used to go in there and rub his belly when I got ohm from work. He loved it, it reminded me how easy life is, and things were good. And then Caitlin arrived. And poor Tony was removed rather quickly, and was reminded to never come back by the loud vacuuming going on to remove any residual fur. Well, he had to find a new place to sleep. And that he did. Now he has taken up residence in the corner of my bedroom. And let me tell you people, this cat is cute. He walks over the corner, circles twice, and then just flops. And there he stays, all day long. This morning i picked him up, gave him some love, and then laid him back down. He went right back to sleep, like nothing had ever happened. This animal makes me so happy.

On the baby front, there are a ton of new faces around, and they are also super cute. Between the Brooklyn, Brylee, Bear,Evelyn, and Liam (who has yet to grace us with his presence, but will, on July 12, my day in the baby pool), Aunt Debs has her hands full. I spend more than one night a week holding a baby, and let me tell you, that is the best thing ever after a long day of work (well, most of the time, although a certain little twin baby like to spit up on me on a regular basis, which, while cute, I wouldn't miss if she stopped). I am a sucker for a smiling baby, and can spend hours with those little ones sleeping on me. I am so excited to make it to Switzerland so baby Naia and I can nap together and I can teach her all the ways of the world (moms beware, my ways of the world might not be YOUR ways of the world, but they are being taught nonetheless). I am so that woman who pinches cheeks and talks in the baby voice. And I am embracing it.

So, as I write this, I am on a plane on my way to Phoenix, where I will connect to get to Vancouver. Thats right, people, Canada. Check it off my list. And I know, I know, I have been some cool place, but never Canada, so I am pretty excited. Someone told me Vancouver is like the LA of Canada, so this should be interesting. I am going for work, after a bunch of people in the office didn't have passports, and I was given the go ahead. Yea, I'm low on the totem pole, but whatever, I made the list eventually. So, I am looking forward to the cooler weather (the high tomorrow is 69), some time outdoors with some trees and views, and, oh yea, a little work. This conference should be interesting. Something about Engineering Education. I guess I do that. A bunch of NASA people will be there, which always is interesting. My funding source for NCAS will be there, so who knows, I might come home with even more money to run this program. Or maybe a raise. Yea, a raise would be nice. I'll see what I can do. It's been a while since I have been on a work trip that has taken me somewhere cool. I mean, SoCal and Alabama are nice, but this is actually a place I might have spent my own money to come and visit. I'm looking forward to exploring, especially since the sun barely sets this time of year this far north. Not quite Alaska, but still great! Anyway, more soon when I get to some exploration!

Full Disclosure

Sigh. Ok, fine. I like to blog, and I am an open book. Most of the time. But, in the last 3 months, I haven't been writing about EVERYTHING on here (and for those of you who know EVERYTHING, don't worry, I'm not actually writing about it ALL). I like to think that this blog keeps people updated on what is going on in the life of Deb. But, it also is my way of getting things off my chest, and talking about things that are bothering me, and just venting. Trust me, there are some amazing posts you people will never read because I was just venting, and then realized that what I had written should NEVER appear on the internet. So, anyway, in the spirit of being open, honest, and allowing me to get it all off my chest, here goes:

Remember three months ago when I had that cardiologist appointment? And then I had the stress test? And then I sort of just stopped talking about it? Well, yea. That's not exactly where the story ended. So, don't freak out (I have to start this story with that phrase A LOT), but here is the whole story...

After I went to the cardiologist a few months ago, I pretty much told most people he gave me a full pass and sent me away. Not totally true. After he ran the Echocardiogram, he found a small spot on one of the pictures, and wasn't sure what it was, or if it was just a shadow, or a lump of Calcium, or something totally different. So, he called me back in, or rather, called me to come to the Clear Lake Heart Hospital, for a procedure called a Transesophageal Echocardiography, or TEE for short (us NASA people love our acronyms). This procedure is basically where they drug you up in the hospital and put a camera down your throat to take a picture of your heart through your esophagus. They drug you up really nicely so that you are still awake (and can follow commands like swallowing, coughing, breathing, etc), but so that you don't remember anything after the fact. It was somewhat painful afterwards, but they were right, I dont remember much of it, so a sore throat is pretty good considering how big the probe with the camera was. I was picturing a small camera, like the size of my pinky fingernail, attached to a string. Yea, not so much. (Also, some of you might remember the HUGE bruise on my arm...yea, that was nurse Kate and her inability to put an IV

Anyway, what came out of this was the fact that I have a small (1.5cm) benign tumor in the right atrium of my heart. Now, let me stop here. When someone tells you this for the first time, your stomach definitely hits the floor. And then ties itself in a huge knot. Twice. And you stop listening the the doctor immediately and go to the nice blank space in your brain where the beach lives, with margaritas and guacamole and beach balls. Yea, I was blown away. And when I told a few people about it afterwards, they wanted to know things like "what causes this" or "what happens if it gets bigger?" And yea, I had no idea. I mean, I am sure the doctor told me, but I was drunk on a mystery beach by then. At least in my head I was. So, I left the office pretty numb, with the promise that he would check with the heart surgeon to see what he thought, but he was not concerned, since the tumor is small and in the right side of my heart. The left side would be a huge issue, since if it got loose on that side, it could go into my brain or other major organ. The right side wouldn't be detrimental apparently, because the lump, if it fell off, would just go into my lungs, and is too small to actually block an artery. Oh, and get this: this kind of tumor in the right side of your heart only happens to actually about 1 in 1 million people. Yea, I am that special.

So, today (uh, a month later, thanks Dr. T), he called me to tell me after checking with four surgeons (he wanted to check with four surgeons since this is SO RARE in the right side of your heart that there is very little literature on it) they all agree that we don't need to do anything right now, and in fact, that is their recommendation. There is no need to open me up (because, if you people had found on google what I found about removing this through open heart surgery ONLY, you would also not want it removed), but he does want to run another TEE on me in six months to make sure the tumor hasn't grown. I am ok with this, even though I swore I would never let anyone put a camera down my throat again. At least the drugs were pretty fun that day, and Becky enjoyed picking me up from the hospital all drugged up and groggy. I think she messed with me, but I can't be sure. I do know that I gave her a heart attack when I was trapped in the hospital for four hours with no cell phone contact. Pretty sure she was having her own small heart attacks when I wasn't responding (Becky, next time just assume I have run off with the hot doctor to an undisclosed location).

So, there you have it folks. I am not perfect after all. I know you are all shocked. I have this growth in my heart. It reminds me of the scene in My Big Fact Greek Wedding when the cousin (aunt? I dont remember the character) had the twin growing on her neck. It is like my little buddy. The doctor drew me a picture, the little guy is hanging on for dear life on a string, just swishing around in there in all my blood. Yea, I'm nuts, but it's how I get by. And you people keep coming back to read all my stories, so therefore, you are a little crazy too. but now you know, and I dont have to write around it like I have been for the last few weeks. And I am fine, so don't get all weird on me and stress me out. I have enough of that without all of your problems too. ;-)

Road trip recap

Caitlin and I are road tripping. It is kind of a scene. Or atleast, that is the quote of the trip. Today is effectively day 3, and we are still talking to each other, so I guess things are going well. She is making the drive from Oakland to Houston, and I joined up in Phoenix, after making the short flight from Houston (through El Paso I might add, which seems a little counter intuitive, since we drove back through there the next day).

I arrived on Saturday morning to Phoenix and took a somewhat sketchy cab ride to the Biltmore Hotel (uh, yea, we are THAT fancy), and then napped, ordered room service, and laid by the pool while waiting for Caitlin to make the drive from Idyllwild to Phoenix. It was rough for me, but I made it through. Actually, I spent a lot more time in the room than I meant to, trying to sleep unsuccessfully. See, I seem to have lost the ability to nap since this thyroid business started up. Super disappointing. But, the bed was amazing, the sheets were like 10,000 thread count, and the air conditioning was freezing, so I was just fine laying there staring at the wall.

Well Caitlin arrived, met me at the pool, changed, and soaked in the salt water with me for a nice little catch up session during which I gave her the general life update, and she gave me hers. Pretty sure the lady sitting behind us getting a tan agrees that we pretty much could write a Lifetime series about our lives (ok, my life). Luckily, most of the Lifetime series doesn't make the blog. Not like you would believe some of the crap that happens to me anyway. Anyway, this lady was very intently listening to us spill our guts. Eh, hopefully she was entertained. I managed to get an awkward tan line from my bathing suit and burn (literally burn, as in, I couldn't walk comfortably until today) the bottom of my feet on the hot stone walkway. We then retired to the Adirondack chairs sitting around a fountain to dry off and enjoy the dry summer air (as opposed to the air you wear in Houston). After Caitlin finally bought into the fact that I haven't been eating too much recently, we made our way to CPK (yea, we are super uncreative when tired and hungry), and shared a nice little pizza and some water (talk about dehydrated after one day in dry air!). Pretty sure I got the best night of sleep in my entire life that night, considering neither of us got up for almost 12 hours. It was like a cruise ship room in there, pitch black, cold, and quiet. Amazing.

Sunday we made the drive from Phoenix to El Paso. We took our time getting going in the morning, and made several stops for food (it seems after I sleep enough, my appetite returns), including the always necessary In-N-Out burger! We rediscovered the Guilty Pleasures CDs Kelly and I made during grad school, and had some fun playing dance party in the car to all the old favorites. We drove through the really bad fires, and breathed in enough smoke to kill a small child. I think I have a sore throat today because of the smoke. I could never be a smoker. I took some fun pictures for all the Facebook fans, and then Caitlin as I spent the afternoon solving all the world's problems and talking about deep meaningful things, like free donut day, her nut/pit allergy, and the new Ben and Jerry's flavors. By El Paso we were both a little tired and a little frazzled. We made it to our hotel room, and it took some serious motivation to leave again for dinner. We had original plans to make a trip through some Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, but by that point, we just wanted food we knew, and we didn't want to make the wrong turn and end up in Juarez. We made it to PF Changs, where the entire wait staff was just watching the Basketball finals and not working too hard otherwise. I almost fell asleep in my soup, but we finished our meals and made it back to the hotel before I passed out (after pulling out all the sheets and rolling myself up like a burrito, as Caitlin made jokes at my expense).

This morning we again took our sweet time getting up (story of my life), and didn't leave El Paso until 11:15am. This might have been a mistake, seeing as the drive to the lake house took us more than 10 hours. See, Caitlin's bladder decided to go on strike yesterday after an unfortunately long time between bathroom stops, and she is peeing like a pregnant woman (she swears she is not pregnant, just in case anyone related to her is reading this). So, we stopped probably once an hour for a break today. This is harder than you might think on the road from El Paso to San Antonio, where there. is. nothing. We both relived our last road trips out this direction with constant quotes like "oh, that's where I stayed last time I drove to Houston...or maybe it was on my way back...or maybe it was where i was GOING to stay..." Needless to say, there was some giggling and much laughter, and towards the end of the evening we both got a little punchy. We made it through the random check stop with Border Patrol outside of El Paso. The guy gave me a rundown of questions, but let me go as soon as I said I worked at NASA. We government people have to stick together apparently. We stopped at Caitlin's favorite fast food ever, Culver's Butterburgers and Frozen Custard, which if you work with her ever, you have heard of. My stomach is pretty mad about that stop still. Tomorrow I will be needing some serious vegetables. It was in Kerrville, Sara's home town, so we went her a nice text message to let her know. We were pretty excited. Actually, several of you probably got random texts from me. Thank you to those that responded, it was kind of like you were on the trip with us! My mom even got on the text bandwagon AND learned how to use the spacebar in her texts. it was a big day in the Hutchings household. So, we made it to the lake house about 10:30, had to wake up Jessica for real instructions as to how to turn on the water (but only after Caitlin put soap on her hands and then couldn't rinse them), and freaked out the neighbors who were clearly partying it up on the porch (ok, that sounds dirty, its not, they were just blaring music). And now I am enjoying the fact that I am not in a hotel room, and dont have to make more than a four hour drive tomorrow. I wonder how long I could live at the lake house before Jessica kicks me out...

Tomorrow it's back to Houston, and real life. Don't get me wrong, I love real life, but I like fake, fancy, hotel life just slightly more. Maybe because I haven't even though about checking work email since Saturday. I am excited to get back though, I think there is some fun waiting for me...and two furry cats...aw man, and a house to clean...oh well!

I am tired, and I like coffee ice cream.

It has been more than two months since that week from hell in March where I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't stay awake, and oh yea, the cats wouldn't eat. I just reread that post. The good news is, the cats are eating just fine these days. The less than good news? I am still exhausted. I mean, I am handling it, but it is not pretty. I don't like that the new way of life is getting through as much as possible at work and coming home to lay on the couch for six hours before I can go to bed. Totally not me. I missed prime kayaking weather a couple of weeks ago, so now I am just pissed. I did spend 2 weeks lounging after CAS ended, and while it was great, it was just masking the fact that I am exhausted by allowing me sleep 10 hours at night and then nap each afternoon. This works just fine when I have no commitments other than meeting people for dinner or getting my hair cut in the middle of the day. BUT this whole alarm clock in the morning thing is a whole other issue. It is not working.

So, per my doctor I returned on Friday for my next blood test, where she can see if the medicine is enough for me (let me tell you right now, it is not, or if it is, we have a larger problem on our hands). I LOVE my doctor. She has a great laugh, and always makes time to explain things. And her nurse is awesome too. I just feel comfortable there, and appreciate finding a doctor who I can ask my random questions to and she gives me real answers (and you know I have random questions cuz I LOVE my internet medical research). Anyway, so she is running my blood this weekend and hopefully will have some answers for me early next week. Which, seriously, cannot come soon enough. Until then, the indentation in my couch get a little more permanent, and nothing much gets done around my house.

So, let's see, what else is going on? There is a new supernova in the Whirlpool Galaxy. Bet you didn't think that was going to be the next thing on this blog, eh? Well, I think it is cool because, as some of you might know, one of my hidden talents/cool facts about me is that in college, my research job was to discover supernovae. Pretty sure if you look me up with the right verbage, you can still find my name in some of the record. Yea, I'm that cool. Anyway, I also used to teach the Whirlpool Galaxy at camp, and while I have forgotten most of the cool things about the galaxy itself, it is kind of a fun connection of several parts of my life. And damn, now that I have given away that secret, I have nothing impressive left to tell new people. I guess my sharp sense of humor is going to have to be enough.

My new favorite ice cream is the Java Chip flavor from Starbucks. I know, I know, Ben and Jerry are gonna be pissed, but this ice cream is amazing. I think my new love stems from LOVING coffee ice cream during the warm summer months. it just reminds me of summers as a kid when mom and dad used to have coffee ice cream in the house. It is kind of a good thing that they only sell Starbucks Ice Cream in pints, and that said pints are expensive, so I don't eat it too often. But damn, is it good!

Somewhat related to my ice cream find is that fact that my freezer is ridiculous right now. I am seriously collecting frozen food. Caitlin is going to hate me when she arrives next week and has no where to put her frozen food. I have probably 5 lbs of chicken and ground turkey, a ton of ice cream and popsicles, all kinds of frozen veggies, and then random stuff. Like SUPER random. Frozen has browns, one frozen waffle, a hot pocket (flavor unknown), a single packet of cheesy broccoli, 8,000 cups of frozen soup, chili or pasta sauce, etc. It is time for a freezer party in which all this food gets cooked and eaten. Who is in?

Caitlin arrives next week (despite the lack of space for her food), and I am super excited! It's like college all over again, with a fun roomie and way too many girlie movie nights! Probably some Mexican food and Chocolate Bar will end up mixed in there. We have way too much fun together, and it will all begin with a 3 day trip across the southern US. I'm starting in Phoenix with her (please, I am so not good enough of a friend to start in Oakland) at an amazing spa which we got a cheap-o price on. Then onto El Paso, which you all know I just love (or not), and then to San Antonio and the lake house for a free night before we make it to Houston. I am sure there will be a blog or two from the road. Especially since we might be mapping out a trip through some Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. Yea, we are THOSE people.

Anyway, I am sure there will be much more excitement to come this summer, especially once I (hopefully) have some more energy. Thank you to those of you who have put up with me spacing out at dinners or stopping mid sentence on the phone and then getting kind of spacey (no comments about how I am ALWAYS spacey)...I promise, I'll be back to normal soon!