HESTEC

This week I took the annual trip to Mcallen, TX. Or for those of you who aren't from Texas, about as far south as you can go in Texas before you hit Mexico. And, just for kicks, Jessica and I (accidentally) drove literally to Mexico's front door before we realized we were going to the wrong way and turned around. Good thing, since neither of us had our passports. Anyway, we are in Mcallen for HESTEC, the Hispanic, Engineering, Science and Technology Week at UTPA. We are effectively the only white girls here. And, well, I can half pass for hispanic if I keep my mouth shut, so Jessica is really sticking out like a sore thumb.

We are staying at the Embassy Suites, where we stay every year. We like this hotel for a number of reasons. First, the rooms are nice because when you are here for a long time, it's nice to have a living area and a bedroom that are separate. Second, free breakfast. Third, free happy hour (which, is cool in theory, but in three years, I think I have been to one of these), Fourth, a pool and hot tub. And fifth, a van that will take you anywhere within 5 miles of the hotel (hello, designated driver).

In true Jess and Deb fashion, we have been living it up on the work trip. Ha. Yea, living it up. Wednesday night I dragged Jessica to Mimi's, my favorite chain restaurant ever. We come every year. There is one in Pearland now, which I have been to a handful of times, mostly when Caitlin lived with me, but the Mimi's in Mcallen is so much closer. And plus, I can only eat so much Mexican food these days (especially after the night earlier this week during which I did not sleep due to some serious tummy pain). So, Mimi's, and then back to the hotel, where we both donned pajamas and laptops and watching "Revenge" on my couch with our laptops. And went to bed at 10pm. Thursday we worked some sort of crazy schedule in which I gave 1000 kids temporary NASA tattoos (which, after 3 days, i have about half removed from my hand after some serious nail scrubbing...those poor kids who got em' on their foreheads are probably less than thrilled with NASA now, as are their parents...). After 5 hours of applying tattoos and dripping water all over myself, I never wanted to see another tattoo. Ever. We cleaned up, reset the room, had some lunch and a quick lunch meeting, and then headed off for a little break. Jess napped and for some reason, I thought it would be a good time to check work email and then workout. Yea, workout. That thing I haven't done more than twice in maybe 3 months. But, it sounded like a good idea. So, the elliptical and I were re-aquainted and then I changed into a pretty hot outfit of shorts and a NASA t-shirt (that I may or may not have flown in the day before), and we headed back for part two of our day. This evening consisted of a VIP reception with food and a bunch of university people. And for this, we decided it was time to bring out Cosmo:

Yup, I was the blowup astronaut. I know, hot, right? I'm in there, smiling cross eyed at the camera, probably with my tongue stuck out. I'm nice like that.

So, I strapped into Cosmo, which is a huge ordeal. Your feet are velcro-ed to wooden platforms, and then there is a life support system that is strapped around you with a battery pack and a large fan to keep you inflated. You can see how lovely I look after being in the suit for an hour or two:

I liken it to being pregnant (not that I would know, I promise), in that you have to make a plan if you are going to move anywhere fast, and especially if you are going to get up from sitting. You are basically carrying 30 extra pounds around your waist, and it all sits on your lower back. I stood in that suit like an 9 month pregnant women, belly and hose sticking straight out, holding onto my back for dear life. But the people love it, and that is what we are all here for, right? Right?!?

In true fashion of living it up, we got gone with the suit and the reception just after 8pm, and basically crawled to the car (did I mention Jessica was driving a glow in the dark mint green Ford Focus? Absolutely awesome, and you can't miss it). We made it in record time to a restaurant, somehow ordered food, stared at each other for a while and tried to come up with a brilliant business plan (which is hard when we are both so tired we could curl up on the table and sleep), and ate a super fast dinner. We were both back in our rooms by 9:30, and I was in bed by 10.

This morning the suit was brought back out, and I was off again, this time with a bunch of middle schoolers. Now, middle schoolers are a special bunch because when most of the boys see an inflatable anything that walks, they immediately only want to do one of three things: poke, push, or trip. Lovely. So, after I got almost taken down from behind several times, I started poking back, from inside the suit. Perhaps not my brightest choice ever, since this really just makes them poke and prod more, but man was it fun. The girls love me, and love it even more when they find out there is a girl inside the astronaut suit. Jessica made the mistake of giving me a bottle of water through my zipped up life support system, and that went well until I dropped it and it ended up in my left shoe, rolling around as I walked. That was an exciting hour (I tried to pick i up a couple of times, until Jessica turned around and said "what the hell are you doing?" which made me realize the inflatable suit probably looks weird as its left leg started to collapse. What a scene.

Tomorrow they think I am getting back in the suit. I have found two suckers who think it looks fun (ok, it is a little fun, let's not pretend), and so I think I might just escort Cosmo tomorrow and let them deal with the sweat, dust, and poking. Seems only fair I share the wealth. Plus, tomorrow is a long day full of families and kids. And my patience isn't what it was on Thursday. Plus, my partner in crime left me today to return to her husband and children (I guess this is a good reason). But don't worry, not before we took a quick visit to the outlet mall down here. And don't worry, I had Mimi's for dinner again tonight. Like you thought I was going anywhere else. Now I am holed up in my hotel room, and looking majorly forward to sleeping in tomorrow before the chaos begins. Go HESTEC?

I am stubborn and a little crazy

Well, the CPAP has arrived. I have had it about two weeks, and after a week of complete denial about the ever having the ability to be able to fall asleep with a full face mask blowing air into my mouth, I bit the bullet, took a Benadryl, and stubbornly swore I was going to at least fall asleep with the mask on for one night, to see if it made a difference. Good thing I am stubborn and don't like to lose, otherwise, this might never have worked. The first night it took me only about an hour to fall asleep, but I was exhausted to begin with, and normally would have just passed out. So, an hour wasn't great, but I did finally fall asleep with the damn mask on my face. I woke up a few times, once from a dry mouth, and a couple of times because I am pretty sure I was holding my breath. With the air blowing at such a high level, it makes it feel hard to exhale, and then I think I just hold my breath instead. Sort of counter intuitive, since the idea behind the mask is to keep your airway open and keep you from actually stopping to breath. Anyway, so the first night I kept the mask on about 4 hours, and then about 1:30am I woke up and took it off. I was pretty aware it was coming off, but I was just happy I had fallen asleep at all with it in. Night two was about the same, I kept the mask on about 4 hours and then it came off at some point in the night. Night 3 I thought I was good to go, and was going to sleep with the mask on all night. Well, I didn't wake up and take it off consciously. However, I did wake up on Friday morning with the entire mask dismantled and removed from the hose and humidified. And each piece was laid out nicely in a row next to the machine. No recollection of doing this at all. I guess I'm not surprised. I am not a huge sleep walker, but only because I usually wake myself up standing in the middle of my room. Yea, makes you want to have me over for a slumber party, eh?

Anyway, after 3 nights of half masking it, I cannot even tell you how much more rested I was feeling. I can't say whether it was really the mask, or the fact that I was in bed by 9 every night just to give myself the extra time to fall asleep. I am hoping it is the mask though, because I feel so much better after sleeping and feeling rested. I even, gasp, had real thoughts about getting back to a gym routine. Friday night was a little bit of a set back, but nothing to do with the mask, and more to do with some less than stellar BBQ I had and its lasting effects on my stomach LATE into the night. No mask or sleep for me that night. I paid heavily today, but got to take some naps and be generally lazy in front of the Saturday college football TV schedule (which, alas, never seems to include any Cal football...might have been good today since the end of the game was apparently not the best ever). Tonight though, I have big plans for this sleep mask and me. We are going to be friends. And hopefully this is the solution I have been waiting for. It better be, cuz, frankly, I'm tired of all the doctor's appointments...although it is about time for the Henry recheck, with the horrendous camera down the throat business. At least this time Becky knows where I will be during my 6 hour being held captive ordeal. Plus, the line of people to mess with me in my drugged up state seems to be growing. I have the greatest friends here in Houston ;-)

I feel I should give a short Aunt Debs update on the local babies. The minis are giggling and talking (ie, making noises) now. Aunt Debs especially likes to makes them talk while Mommy is feeding them. This prolongs feeding time, but is so damn cute. They are also trying solids. Some of these solids Mommy knows about, others Aunt Debs just tries on her own (ice cream and cream cheese are both popular with Brooklyn). Baby Liam is about the same size as the twins, despite being 4 months younger. He eats like a champ and likes to take naps on me. He is definitely a cuddler. Bear is like a day away from crawling, and is about to be into EVERYTHING. I am kinda like the paparazzi with all these babies, and everyone gets random pictures texted to them whenever I have a baby in my arms. See my FB albums for more proof of this.

So this week I am making the first of a few work trips for this fall. It is the annual trek down to Harlingen for HESTEC. Somehow, every year, I get sucked into HESTEC. Every year I say "next year I am so not doing this." And yet, here I go again. Don't get me wrong, the conference is great. We usually have a good time after hours all going out together. There is usually some margarita drinking, and as a special bonus, I know where the Mimi's is down there (are you ready Jessica?). BUT, this conference is infamous for a couple of major issues. First, there are always way too many educators down there, and half of them end up standing around "helping" and not doing much while the other half of us deal with psycho teachers and kids. And, additionally, there are some crazy long days...and some weird short days. But, noon to ten on a Saturday with 30,000 people is a little bit overwhelming. It's gonna take some serious coffee/Diet Coke to get me through this week! And next year, I am so not going.

Oh, also, it's fall now. The highs in Houston have dropped to 98 this weekend, and 96 on Monday. Yup, fall sure is here. Now, where the hell is winter?

You can't make this stuff up

Yup, I am friends with all of these people:

Female friend: "Deb, don't get married, it just comes with a whole bunch of frustration."
Female friend's husband: "Yea, no kidding. A WHOLE BUNCH."

Pregnant friend: "Oh, I am so not doing the dishes. See this? (points to stomach). This is an additional human being I am carrying around."
Pregnant friend's husband: "Yea. I know. I put it there."

Male friend of mine when talking about one of my crazy female friends: "You know Deb, she might be crazy, but maybe she is right. Even a broken watch is right twice a day."

Male friend: "So i'm single now..."
Me: "Yea, I noticed. You are about to break a lot of hearts, i can just see it coming."
Male friend: "Yea, it will be like a bull in a china shop."
(Really?!?)

L (referring to taking a shot at the bar): "Did you do that all in one swallow?
S; I did. Weird that I'm single, right?"
L: "Yea. You are clearly not advertising the correct way"

J:"Deb, you clearly get no benefit from me being your friend..."
Me: "Yea, no kidding"
J:"Hey, wait a minute..."

"So I was playing this drinking game with these people. Well, actually, these people were playing this game, and I was drinking and listening to their game and playing in my head, since they didn't actually ask me to play with them."

"Well, I mean, I liked the ring, but I didn't actually think we would be married this long..."

"I have a spreadsheet of price per ounce of formula and price per unit for diapers."
"Yea, I have the same thing, for beer."


I am also working on a blog dedicated to stupid questions I get via email. Trust me, there is quite the collection.