Six months

Today was a hard day. Six months ago, while I was at work early in the morning for a CAS program, Jessica walked in to the Gilruth with puffy swollen eyes and, while holding back tears, told me that our friend Suzy had passed away. I still can't go back into that room without thinking about that morning. We went that morning to see the Cejka babies, who were exactly a month old in the NICU. I held one of those baby girls and just thought about life and how fragile it is. The days that followed were full of tears, and a lot of friends leaning on each other for an amazing amount of support. Her funeral was packed to the point where the overflow room was full. For weeks after she died, I would forget she was gone. My phone would ring and her name would come up on the screen. It was her daughter playing with the cell phone, but it still would get me every time. In June I cleaned out my desk at work and found a note from Suzy she had tucked in the drawer the summer before. That note is still there. At the time it made me sad, but now it makes me smile. It reminds me how much Suzy loved life, and how much we should all love life. Suzy's little boy is six months old now. Her little girl will be three next month. Both of her kids are just like her. They love the simple things in life. They giggle at everything, and they let things roll right off their shoulders.

I think the last six months have probably been the hardest six months of my entire life. I have struggled with health issues and the frustrations of fatigue. I have gone from loving my job to job searching. I have struggled with relationships and finding my place in a world that has been turned upside down. And I lost a great friend. Seems to me that is a lot for six months. I have thought a lot about Suzy today. She was always so kick back, she never let anything get to her. She found the best in everything and was ALWAYS smiling. She would want us all to be happy, and not let the memory of her upset us. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments, I think we all do. Sometimes life just seems unfair. But, in the end, her spirit is still very much alive and with all of us. And after six of the hardest months of my life, I can only learn from her, learn from her death, and keep her memory alive. And, of course, see life as she did: One big adventure.