Henry the Tissue Blob?

Yesterday was my third (and hopefully final) TEE (I am not looking up what it stands for again, I am sure you all know my now, or know how to google it, right?). Jessica and I started the day at 5:45am and were sitting in awesome traffic on 45 by 6:15. Needless to say, I did not arrive by 6:30 as the nurse had requested. Instead it was close on 7 before I rolled in to admitting. Luckily I either missed the rush or there never was one, because I was admitted and registered pretty much right away, and then whisked upstairs (via the purple elevators in St. Luke's...everything is color coded there) to the third floor where I was met with a sign leading to Cardiovascular out patient services (and Nuclear procedures, which we were hoping I was not having). Filled out more paperwork (more people in this town know my height and weight and allergies than I ever intended), and was very quickly taken back to the room where the procedure would be done. Elizabeth was my nurse, and older black woman who told me she had worked in ICU for years and then had been asked to do this job instead, which she liked more because usually no one died. Right. Awesome. Anyway, she rocked it out on my IV and did it in one shot, which is more than I can say for other recent IVs I have had, although there is now a strange series of 3 marks on my arm, and I am fairly certain there was only one needle. Oh well, still better than the blowout last May.

Anyway, so after the IV, things get a little blurry. The doctor I was supposed to have was on spring break, so her boss was coming in to do he procedure. Yadda yadda yadda, best in the world, yadda yadda, won't hurt a bit, yadda yadda, whatever. Why the heck was the original doctor on spring break? And why the heck did no one really know if she was coming in or not. Just seemed a little sketch, but whatever. Elizabeth had somewhere to be at nine, so she will going to have this procedure done by then, come hll or high water. Fine by me, no use in wasting time before I can eat breakfast. Ever since my appetite returned, breakfast has been a key meal in my happiness factor for the day. Anyway, so in rolls one of the other doctors. Maximum possible age: 17. And a second doctor peeks his head in to say hi to my first teenage doctor. He was most likely 12, and went to school with my doctor's younger brother. When the hell did I get old? And when the hell did I get to be old enough to have doctors with specialties who are younger than certain pairs of shoes I own??

Anyway, eventually they ran through the entire procedure and raved and raved about how bad the hurricane spray was going to be. The spray is not nearly as bad as the feeling of choking on something the side of a thumb, but whatever. Then the 17 year old sprayed me until I was numb and/or there was burning in my throat to make me numb. And then we waited. And waited, and waited. Dr. Steinbech was apparently going to take his time. Now, apparently I met this guy, and I thought he was old, but Jessica tells me he also was younger than either of us. Possibly I was pretty out of it by this time. I remember flipping over on my side and the tech wrapping the mouth guard around my neck and checking my BP. And then...well...

The next thing I remember is being wide eyed, looking at the screen, and the doctor looking at me and saying, (very calmly I might add) "Uh, she is wide awake. Go ahead and push some more drugs" And then I remember nothing until I tried to swallow and instead choked on the tube, and then I guess they decided they were done, and up came the whole thing. My throat was raw as all get up, but I was fairly certain they were done. Apparently Jessica and Jenny rolled back in about that time. I have no recollection of them being in there together, but then again, I don't recall much. Jess tells me they doctor gave me a full explanation and I fell asleep half way through it. I remember vaguely the screen shots he showed me. I then remember them sending Jess to get the car after the nurse hung my clothes on the back of the door (they were in my purse until that point) and we were both a little confused as to why she didn't just hand them to me. There was a wheelchair ride to the front of the hospital, but I do not remember the elevator ride downstairs (and where the heck was Jack while this was all going on?). Then Jess got lost and took her sweet time picking us up. Then we all got lost trying to find food.

Ended up at Katz's, a well known Jewish deli (see, you knew I had the jewish in me, right?) so we could eat. Jack sat in the back of the car on the way there and asked me if I was feeling ok. I think he might have been a little confused as to what was going on, but he was so sweet about it. Once at breakfast, I have a vague memory of eating an omelette and some potatoes and some of Jack chocolate chip pancakes. Then we chased down the Mmm Cupcake truck (more on this amazingness later) to buy us some cupcake desserts. And then. Well, then I remember nothing. I have a half memory of falling asleep in the car on the way home and trying to keep myself awake. And I got inside the house and sat on the couch. I woke up sitting up a little bit later and must have gotten into bed, because the next thing I remember is waking up at 5 and wondering where the hell I was. Oh, and I was so confused as to why I had 10 text messages, until I realized I had texted people earlier in the day (no idea how this happened). I then proceeded (according to my phone) to call several people and have legitimate conversations with them. No recollection, sorry Caitlin, Colleen, Travis and Mom, maybe we can try again now? Passed out again around 11 after watching TV that I now probably have to rewatch, and felt much better this morning.

Anyway, I am so glad this all seems to be coming to an end. The doctor told Jess (well, and me, but I don't remember) that he has done thousands of these tests (find this hard to believe as he is clearly 17 years old and can't have been a doctor for long enough for THOUSANDS of tests) and never seen anything like what he saw in my heart. Basically there are long stringy things, we think called chordae tendineae, that are normal. What is not normal in the the tissue in the middle of all of them that seems to be hanging out in the middle of my heart. But, while not normal, also not dangerous or something this (17 year old) doctor was worried about. I guess the final say comes from Dr. Fish, but I am not concerned, and just happy there isn't something foreign in my heart, hanging out trying to mess with me. I guess "Henry the tissue blob" will have to do for now.

I know I say it a lot, but I am really thankful to have had the friends I have with me through all of this. Jess and Jenny took great care of me yesterday, even though Jessica basically passes out at the sight of a needle, I told her it wasn't her day and the listened! They were a greta distraction from the reality of what I was doing, which is probably the biggest help possible. My favorite is when Jenny sends me pictures of homework she is grading that is so ridiculous it is funny! And of course, all of the loving texts, voicemails, facebook posts and emails, those mean so much to me. I am a lucky lucky girl, and not just because I don't actually have a heart tumor. Pretty sure I have the best friends and family in the world. I'd put money on it!