TEE #2

So today was my second TEE. The first one way last May, you can read about that here. Anyway, so after having a TEE already, I was more aware of what to expect. This might be a good thing, might be a bad thing. It might have helped if I hadn't gotten super sick the day before, and had to stay at home in bed ALL day log sleeping to get rid of the horrendous sore throat. It seems since the tonsils are gone, anytime I get a sore throat, it just burns and burns, and hurts oftentimes more than it did when I had the tonsils. Still glad I got rid of them, but man, these sore throats sucks. Anyway, enough of that tangent. So, I was somewhat nervous about the procedure starting last night. I dont get nervous about the tumor (aka Henry) too often, mostly because I dont have symptoms that would lead me to believe anything was going terribly wrong in my heart. But last night I got nervous. I guess it was a 2 parter. First, the procedure itself is pretty miserable. I mean, they give you good drugs, and you don't remember (or are not supposed to remember) the actual camera in the throat, but it still sucks. I was also nervous for what they might find. I mean, symptoms or otherwise, it is never a good feeling to have something weird just hanging out in your heart. I have a lot I want to accomplish this year, and while I will obviously do whatever is needed to deal with this tumor, taking 3 months off to have open heart surgery and recover is not high on the list if accomplishments for this year. Plus, Congress (aka my 7 bosses) will never approve my vacation if I am out for 3 months removing Henry. And I want to go on vacation this year!

So, I rolled into the hospital at 6:15 this morning. It was just me, the security guard, and the EMT groups that were apparently meeting for breakfast in the lobby. Admitting wasn't open yet, so I hung out. At 6:40, when admitting still wasn't open yet, I started to get annoyed. Who tells someone to be there between 6 and 6:30 if your admitting isn't even going to be open at that point?? Luckily, I was too tired (and woozy from sleeping all day the day before) to bring out "Bitchy Deb" and the lady behind the counter did eventually open the doors at 6:45. After having a short argument with her about how I did not owe her $1800 worth of a deductible because I have the world's best insurance, I agreed to pay it and deal with my insurance later. Good thing I had brought my trusty SWA Visa with me, that's basically a free flight worth of money spent in 10 seconds. After I shelled out more than a paycheck for this procedure, the lady behind the counter personally escorted me to the second flood. They weighed me (fasting all morning seemed to have a positive affect on this), showed me to my "room" (aka, curtained off area), and gave me a fancy gown to put on. I was lookin' pretty stylish in my pajama pants and blue and green hospital gown. Good thing I wasn't trying to impress anyone.

My nurse for the morning was Laurie. She had the personality of a brick. Luckily, however, she also had some skills, so this time there was no blownout IV bruise to deal with for the next month. She drew blood and got me all set up, all before 8:30am. This was going much more smoothly than the last time. At some point, Bill rolled in. Now Bill was my nurse who would be with me during the procedure. Bill was clearly in his 50s and liked to be everyone's friend (even Laurie's, who was really not interested). Bill came in, hugged me because he said I looked like I needed it, and then proceeded to ask me 100 questions for his part of the survey. I swear I should have a printout. He then went nextdoor to tell the other guy having a TEE how it was going to go. At some point I hear "Deborah, are you listening? It would really save us all time if I don't have to go over this again..." Really Bill?

So, around 9am, I get rolled back to the procedure room, which is really just through a door to another curtained off hallway. Clear Lake is clearly all about using space to the best potential. There, Bill continued to be my best friend, after he asked me if I might be pregnant (since the bloodwork was slow), and I told him there wasn't a chance in hell, and he laughed and laughed and then asked me if I thought it was possible there could have been an immaculate conception and that I was that blessed. I told him to alert the media if that was the case, and that I would need an agent and book deal ASAP. Anyway, once he stopped laughing, he then was my new best friend, despite being slightly creepy. He told me he wold give me extra drugs since last time I woke up in the middle of the procedure. Then he proceeded to yell across the room at me from the other guy's bed who was also having a TEE. It was basically a three ring circus.

So, eventually Dr. K rolled in to shove a camera down my throat. Luckily, there is more room now, being that I am sans tonsils. They rolled me onto my left side, sprayed my throat with some awesome numbing spray, and went to town. I still have no recollection of the camera going in, but I certainly remember it being down my throat, and choking on it. A LOT. And I remember gagging on it as it came out. Someone was holding my hand, and someone else was holding my head still, despite my best efforts to jerk it back away from the probe. I remember trying to look at the screen and not being able to, which just pissed me off. I should really get to see my own heart, but there was a pillow in the way. I guess this is good, since otherwise my head would have been on the metal guard rail of the bed. Anyway, I tried to relax and let them go to town, but it wasn't quite as smooth as the last time (although, in my defense, I am fairly certain I didn't throw up, and I am pretty sure last time I did, since I woke up in a new gown). Apparently it was a short procedure, like under 10 minutes, and then we were done. I asked the doctor right away how it looked. I don't remember much of his answer other than "good" and that the tumor was still there, and he would need to compare it to past tests, but it appeared to be possibly slight bigger, but he wasn't worried. I figure the fact that he didn't book me into an operating room right then and there says something.

Now, post TEE is the best feeling in the world. You just lay there, all drugged up and out of it, and have no worries, no responsibilities, and no where to be. I sucked on some ice chips (ok, Bill fed me ice chips...I think we are married in some countries now), and listened the other guy have his TEE (his did not go well, as he tried to talk in the middle apparently...not a good idea!). Eventually they rolled me back to the original room where I was able to watch TV and sleep on and off for a while. They actually had to put me back on Oxygen (I just remembered this, I was THAT out of it), because my blood oxygen kept dropping when I would fall asleep. I think I was just that exhausted that I kept forgetting to take deep breaths. I was THAT relaxed. They made me walk around, gave me some water and jello, and went over the 7000 page discharge packet. The new nurse felt the need to read EVERY SINGLE line. I was ready to murder her by page 2.

Eventually she let me roll downstairs and packed me into Becky's awaiting car. I have the best friends in the whole world (let me remind you Becky was the one that picked me up after my gallbladder surgery, which was when I puked fluorescent green into a bag in her car, and yet she still came back)! Becky took me to lunch where I was excited to sort of have an appetite after fasting that morning and not really eating the day before due to a sore throat. I kept down some soup and half a sandwich, and Becky dropped me off at home. I walked inside, sat down on the couch, and opened my computer to email my cousin, who had sent me an email to check in. I woke up a half hour later, still sitting on the couch, computer open, and a half written email on the screen. I moved to my bed and sat up the pillows to finish the email. Woke up two hours later with the same email still on the screen, STILL sitting up. I was seriously drugged and woozy. I don't remember most of last night, other than eating a little bit of french toast (my new favorite dinner), and perhaps making a phone call or two. I understand now why they don't let you drive.

Anyway, so, I am glad the day is behind me. The second time was harder than the first because I knew how miserable it was going to be. The first time I was convinced it would be easy. I was sore today, I think from fighting the probe and having the nurses have to hold my head in place for a while, my neck and shoulders are just pissed. Deep down in my throat, probably my esophagus, is sore when I swallow food, so I am sticking to somewhat soft foods. I am awaiting the results, and not letting the wait get to me. I figure the doctor will call me if it is serious, and I will call the doctor when I haven't heard from him. I don't have any symptoms, no chest pain, no shortness of breath, and I can still keep up a good workout, so I am sure I am fine for the time being. I think it is just important to have a good attitude and enjoy life for what it is. I mean, right? Look at the world around us and how many people have so much worse going on in their lives. I am lucky, I have damn good insurance (I guess we will see how good when they get my reimbursement request from yesterday), good family and friends, and a ton of people who support and love me. I get to go on a great adventure this year and further explore the outdoors and the middle of this country. I will be so much closer (airplane-wise) to so many people in my life, so I will hopefully be making some visits and enjoying some great time with all of you! I know it's a little cliche, but this kind of thing just makes me want to take more advantage of my opportunities and make the best of what this world has to offer. Life is too short to sit around and wait for something to happen, so prepare your foldout couches, cuz here I come!!